crushmy-little twittyheart.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

title:{Telephone}

It started with the Telephone

Nowadays. I feel like that.

I mean, not total exact copy of the lyrics but... you get it. Yeah, I'll blog about my orientation, just like how I will post about a lot of things when they're long over. But given the state of my head, it's hard to tell when I'll next blog about good stuff.

I feel sooooo stoned. I really don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish you'd know everything that's going on inside my brain. But of course, you don't even read body language and tone, how'd you read my mind? It's great how some people can be so straightforward, saves us the trouble of playing guessing games. I wish I could be like that all the time. But don't you think some things are harder to say than that? Sometimes it's just not as easy?

Ok so we've tried. We've busted it. Now what?

Do you think I don't wish I knew what you were really thinking as well? It's so hard to believe that things can just flash before you and then, boom it's gone. Out of reach, out of touch. Everything is just a faked party. One thing leads to another and sooner or later, we're gonna realise this ain't for us. So many things make me think that this is so "um, perfect". Recently, especially, it has got me thinking, what's actually right?

I may be keeping our prized possessions close to heart, but why don't I feel it there? Why does it feel so cold on my skin. And when I look at it, I don't feel any happiness. It's not real. It's just another mask of yours, to hide some flaw between us. I can't think straight when my head's a mess. Sometimes I'm too selfish too, I guess.

If only I could treat everything we've promised as trash-talk. Life would be better... which way?

And right now, I feel so close to this song, even when the guy is singing bad stuff about the girl, yeah that's like me.

But if you watched the official video (the one with Ciara), you'd realise it all ended well. Hmm, haha, I don't know what I want right now. Sweet nightmares dear.

1:32 PM;

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

title:{VIDEOS !}

Hello ;) It's a bright and sunny day, I AM SPSED TO BE AT THE BEACH !

If not for this dumbass flu ;( *terribly sad

Actually, it's kind of, REALLY hot -.- so we may just burn our asses off at Sentosa but but. BUT... I've been stuck at home for really long (school does not count, school was so boring yst -.-) and it's getting to me :( ESPecially! when I have so many things I NEED to do. Like buy shoes, buy contacts solution, buy other stuff. and I just received a voucher -.- So I should really go buy them now, and not waste another good voucher -.-

Why I should say that? Well... my parents just found lots of "Shang-dollars" in our car. Shang dollars can be used to buy stuff at Shangri-la / get dollars off lunchs and dinner. So... what a bloody waste. Some even expired 2 years ago -.- Talk about finding 10-year-old chocolate in my grandma's fridge, we're not much better! Also, the boxes of chocolates in my house really need some clearing, and since I'm sick, the clearance doesn't look promising. Just goes to show WHO EATS THE CHOCOLATES HERE !

Any how, hope I get well soon, 13 boxes of chocolates waiting for me.

Rarr, since I'm bored, I read GP notes. LOLS. Just a little, and it just felt like revision for IH ewww? Cause I'm reading about globalisation. I found some econs news articles also, today front page have! And read read... gahhh so bored. I think I might just do the math tutorial later at night (afternoon's for slacking cause nobody to qiang comp w me!) Thinking of which, TML HAVE MATH QUIZ ONLINE!! -_-

Yups, and for the aftnoon, got to watching That's So Raven on Youtube (was watching last night too) and didn't want to watch too many at one go, so went looking for songs. Maybe will update Mp3 soon, since it's running out of batt, needa connect to comp as well. But for now, Sharing the love~

Love this cutely crazy song. I think it's ... DDR O_O ? oh haha, Can't rmb where I first heard it, anyone remind me o.O?
"Don't call me jelly bear, Cuz I'm a Gummy bear"
Visit Gummibär online at http://www.gummibar.net !!

Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear. Pop!

Really Nice Song ;(

And the next and final song is Dedicated to. D: ? Hmm.

Tatas.

2:58 PM;

Friday, January 22, 2010

title:{JAPAN2 !}

HELLO. Okayes. so I finally get down to blogging again, and it'll be a short one again because... it's almost time for school (Ahhhh!)

I just wanted to like... think of 13 things I miss about Japan. :S so here goes, in no order whatsoever.

1) Bloody Good Food
2) SNOW!
3) Ice cream ;(
4) Tatami Beds :x
5) The Japanese Language?
6) Spotting cute guys (oops, sorry)
7) HEATED TOILET BOWLS omg. must haves!
8) Butt-washing spray in toilet bowl
9) Hot springs :(
10) Snow mobile!
11) The cold weather
12) Walking in the snow...
13) Lying in the snow making snow angels

AHH. not enough ! Idc.

14) Trying v. hard to eat a snowflake :P
15) Super nice vending machine drinks!
16) Cute stuff, LITERALLY, all around.
17) and. and. ok that's it. lols!

Tatas. I'll blog again, soon! In the meantime, good luck to those who're getting posted to JCs etc next week! Enjoy life while we can ^^

11:26 AM;

Friday, January 15, 2010

title:{JAPAN!}

I am back from Japan ^_^

Smile and be happy. Life in Singapore can't be that bad! Not when I just touched back down and half of my soul is still wandering in the winter wonderland? Why on earth are weird things happening. Why are so many tears falling. Why is it that so many times when I think or speak something, usually bad, some form of it will occur. Why must life be so unfair...

Everyone deserves to smile. On the inside.

"It was a smile, nothing more. It did not make everything all right. It did not make anything all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight.

But I'll take it. With open arms. When Spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I witnessed the first flake melting"

Now's no time to blog about my trip because, partially, I'm lazy, and mostly, I just am not in the mood :S I am so confused as to what to do tomorrow. What is happening? So many things that I wish were not happening. If only one more prayer was heard.

I don't know what to say or think hmm. Sigh~ Maybe I won't get to blogging about my trip after all, esp after school starts :S ? So, summing it up. Japan was great. It was expensive, it was fun, it was funny, it was yummy and it was snowy. I wish I could share my joys :) LOLS... sorry, can't think of what else to blog le.

Zendagi Migzara. Love all my friends dearly.

11:59 PM;

Friday, January 08, 2010

title:{LICENCE}

The anime I was just started watching JUST got licenced and removed from the website. ohwhee. zzz. Lazy find new site.

Audi :D

Byebye~

2:29 PM;

Thursday, January 07, 2010

title:{JAPAN}

Hello friends :(

I still cannot find my friend's number. Dammit.

Hmm. I am so excited to finally be going to Japan! I've always wanted to go there wheee~ just like how I want to go to Paris! ♥ and... not many other places. and just as much as I'm dreading the start of JAY CEE. Yes, it's taboo :( Too bad we don't write narratives anymore, if not my first essay will be about a guy called JAY CEE being the worst kid in town etc happening stuff happening to him T.T and HCJC has still not replied my email about how to start my own CCA - dammit! How inefficient. I shall write in again, this time writing under the "COMPLAINT" section. Hey, it's been a week! Almost.

Anws, I am sooo happy to be able to go to Japan. I sure hope I enjoy myself very much! And that nothing stupid, nothing bad, nothing sad happens. Yes. Don't miss me too much while I'm away. I will think of you when I'm bored but I won't say so while I'm doing fun stuff :D or dangerous stuff D: haha! Anyways, anticipating the SNOW omg, like REAL, FALLING, SNOW.

Big. Fat. White. Blobs.

But I also hope it won't be too cold bbbrrr! If not my nose will freeze off. Wearing winter stuff, real thick, ie: not jeans but winter pants etc... How unglam will I look :( ohwell, all for enjoying the real fun stuff better ^_^ I will take lots of pictuuurrrs! (if my fingers permit) and buy lots of stuff!! and most of all, take in all the beautiful scenery and hot springs and culture :) YAY I AM SO HAPPY!

I could be the happiest girl now! Because I am happy. Shuddup.

Ok. Here's what. I'm going to do a full-list of things I wish to do (but not on the blog), I meant like write down somewhere :) and also a list of my favourite things as of 2009, namely, food and movies :P accumulated yeah. AND, if I am really nice and free enough, I might post it up! Haha.. how random but :3 I have alwys been wanting to do that since the start of the year!!

Now.... I NEED TO PACK :D

Everyone will be dearly missed ;) Honestly, let me say this first -.- I might not have enough $$ to buy stuff for everyone HAHAHA. Well, mostly because Japanese stuff are way to ex and I am very kiam with my money. AND, the tour already costs too much for such a short trip. K la, I said this just to spike people but I hope I will be able to buy LOTS of stuff! ^_^

Ciaos! Enjoy the last week of your holidays everyone :) (for those who still have -.-) and ty for your well wishes while I was so sick :( but in case you don't know still, I was okay like.. 2 days after I fell sick so DW thanks. hahas. Wish I could go out more and do some stuff :( but yeah, life is so short :( and couldn't miss work these few days, sorry~ and my nights were. ah ahem lols, some were taken.

Also, went for another type of treatment every morning. Wondering if I should continue that treatment... V very very VERY expensive but I feel so great every time I come out!! The best part that shows the treatment is really good is that I even felt *vaguely* prettier shortly after it. I mean... I know it's all in the mind. And maybe it's just loving myself a bit more, and that my face really is less pale when I come out, like have that healthy pinkish shine hahas. Ohwell, but it fades off through the day, when all the negative stuff and BAD TEMPERS come in :(

Yes my temper sucks so bad. How to change it! HELP! T.T

ohright, life is short, so I'm spsed to do the fun things :D

Packing is fun. BYE!

To Xeo Only: Unpacking is not as fun, but is fun too.

LOVES MUCH ♥

10:35 PM;

Monday, January 04, 2010

title:{BUYING BOOTS :(}

Okay. I just blogged, and I'm going to blog again :( because I missed out complaining about one last thing!

BUYING BOOTS.

Yes, okay, well, not just boots but FOOTWEAR in general. I just wrote buying boots cause it's BB ! HAHA. ok shuddup. We went shopping :( and you know how hard it is for me to buy shoes because I'm so picky. everything is just so tasteless to me, or just not worth the money. $20 for another pair of the-same-kind-of-normal-those-kind-of-sandals ?! nah-uh.

i tried on like 4 boots that I was actually considering to buy (2 of them didn't even have the cool strappy stuff hanging around!) yeah, didn't see anything nice because there's already this image of the perfect kind of boots i want in my mind ;) and with that, it's even harder to shop. and guess what, none, i repeat, NONE of them fitted me. fit, not as in, i don't fit the look etc. as in, size, SIZE SIZE.

i even went to ALDOOOO already :( and they serviced me! whee -.- first time. see how much they bloody discriminate against school girls?! ok, for that, am never buying from them liao. one pair at Aldo didn't have my size. second pair, had the same problem with the OTHER two pairs, which was the top part was too big. so it's like, IS THERE STH WRONG W MY CALF?! why can't they fit me?! T__T the boots just, droop down and stuff. and... yea, it wont stay. idk how to say. flabby dangly stuff hanging around. grrs. even the stiff kind, you totally can see one whole empty circle around the top, big enough to tempt you into stuffing socks down my boots. hmpfs.

and, no nice sandals like my ball-ball one :( no luck, no luck at all! personally, still like best the boots he got me.

that's all for complaining :D now, a treat for xeo! my long lost friend :3

12:33 PM;

title:{Prediction}

as predicted, fell sick. freaaaak.

very irritated.

and blogger looks horribly ugly now. make me dun wna post LOLS. ok. bye (:

*edit*

okay, fine i shall blog a bit more. blogger is back to normal now. well, i slept for... almost 24hours straight from 2jan-3jan. what a greaaat way to spend the first few days of the new year, seriously. i really can't believe i slept SO LONG. and i felt terribly terribly weak and unable to do anything. and when i bang my hands (as they were just swinging around as per normal while i walk) against anything at all, it will feel EXTREMELY painful.

i felt, super abnormal.

i felt like vomiting but i couldn't, somehow there's this notion in my mind that vomiting is a good way of feeling better. weird, huh. i even wanted to induce vomit already, but i thought that was super er xin so~ nono. then whenever i felt vaguely "hungry", i tried to eat, and once i put something in my mouth and start chewing, my stomach will feel queasy and i would love to, love to vomit again. thankfully, throughout the past few days, i did not vomit -.- GOOD.

so in conclusion, i ate like, one small slice of homemade cake, half a bowl of kway teow tang, another slightly less than half a bowl of porridge (couldn't finish), one chocolate biscuit, 5 1/2 jacobs crackers with honey. for almost 2 whole days. yeowch. :( i wanted to eat so much when i got my appetite back but my mom wouldn't let me! MANY SOBS ;'(

and i'm stuck at home now. how wonderfulllll ! i feel so BORED... i want to workkkkkk! hais. grrs. *GROANS* !!! technically i can work from home but i kinda left my to-do list at the office ~.~ and the home comp just doesn't feel the same, it's like, for SLACKING !! not for work. okay, come JC, it'll be for work & play again :(

AHHH jc, horrible thoughts.

i just wna quit school now and be free and happy... and travel to Japan and live in the snow for 6 months and freeze to death, maybe. and spend some time in a travel hut with a very warm fireplace and hug my honey to sleep~ and kitty and cloud will be there and there will be real polar bears around me too! and they keep me warm and happy and no thoughts of JAY CEE will ever cross my mind.

and come spring, if i'm still living, i will get to see my beloved cherry blossom trees, ohmy!! and i will eat cherry jubilee prepared by the finest hands every night and drink champagne with my honey !!! and we will talk about the birds and the bees and no thoughts of JAY CEE will ever cross my mind.

sigh, JC...

this new year has really not started off very well, esp within the family. i hope, i so very hope, that this misfortune will not last, and that this year will not end the same way it has started. i'm going to dig out my diary and see how last year started, just a random thought haha. since i'm bored, that is what i shall do :) and i'm not spsed to use the comp so much today. grrs, regulations, regulations! my predictions, premonitions about so many stuff has come true these few days i'm getting kind of, very scared. stop stop. will it STOPP. and i keep having stupid dreams. what happened to deep sleeping and dreamless nights :( ?!

tortured soul :( what have i done wrong.

still, the worse is being stuck, bloody stuck at home, feeling bored and the worst kicks in when i start THINKING... weird, stupid, horrible, ugly and bloody goodness thoughts... the same thoughts that keep me awake on sleepless nights, and the headache-inducing voices in my head. ahhhh, dammit, let me hear the birds chirping away happily outside my house now! T_T

11:58 AM;